Nourish your relationship and it will flourish

How to start over in your relationship?

When something happens in a relationship I’ve heard people ask about starting over. And when you think about it, it seems like a hard proposition. How do you start something over that is almost to the end? If you look at it like having a plant, then you can learn how to revitalize your relationship.

1. Accept that your relationship is dying out and make a conscious decision to deal with the cause. Maybe you haven’t been nurturing your relationship. Maybe you’ve completely ignored your spouse. Maybe there was a third party that caused you pain. Maybe it was something that traumatized your relationship. Look at the root cause and don’t be afraid to admit what is really go on.

2. Make a commitment to do things differently. That means starting from square one. Go on dates and court each other. Do things you did in the beginning of your relationship, especially in terms of communication. You may find that you need to learn about your partner again. Reevaluate your wants and needs in the relationship and make it happen.

3. Stick to your principles. If you decide to take a step back, then do just that. This may be a period of time when you and your partner start over intimately as well. It depends on what you discover through your own exploration, as well as the communication with your spouse.

4. Watch your relationship grow and celebrate your successes. Take time to admire how your relationship has begun again. Express gratitude to your partner for going on this journey with you. And remember that your relationship will always need to be nourished in order for it to flourish.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

Is Your Partner Willing To Be Intimate With You?

Being intimate with your partner is about having a partner who is willing to be intimate with you. So before you go looking for solutions on how to find intimacy in your relationship, ask yourself this: “Is my partner willing to be intimate with me?”. If the answer is yes, then by all means proceed with the research, effort and time it will take to increase intimacy in your relationship. If the answer is no, then it’s important to take a look at why you stay and what options you have in your relationship. 

So, your spouse wants to become more intimate in your relationship and now you’ve got to figure out what to do? Why not work with your spouse to come up with ideas on how to do it together? Write out a list of things you would do together if time, money, jobs, children or any of those other intimacy killers didn’t get in the way. While you may not be able to do everything or anything on your list, it will be a jump off point. If you and your significant other both say you want to sail around the world, you could start with a one night cruise. 

 

Communication is another key ingredient in intimacy. It is the basis for all relationships so making communication a priority will allow for chemistry and passion to happen organically. Talk to each other about you day, your fears and hopes, your desires for your relationship and anything else that comes up for you.

 

The most important thing in finding intimacy in your relationship is willingness on both parts. Once you have that, with time and energy, everything will fall into place.

 

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

Take Your Inner Child With You!

This upcoming weekend, I have a trip to Disney World planned. Disney is one of those places where it’s perfectly acceptable and normal for adults to be kids.  What if the rest of the world was like that?

Sometimes, people forget what it’s like to be little.  Inside of each of us lives the innocent and adventurous child we once were.  When you dig deep down inside, you are able to fully embrace that part of your life.   Then you can let your inner child out to play. 

What if you could take your inner child to work every day? How would you show up differently? Would you listen to Disney music all day and celebrate small successes with a piece of chocolate? I bet employee relationships would improve because when people relate to each other on the level of the inner child, it is without judgment, resentment or anger. It’s out of pure love, enjoyment and fun.

What if you could bring that carefree attitude into your relationships? What if your main goal was to engage and interact with other people that would get your inner child excited? It might look like board games after dinner or coloring with markers.  It might be telling a joke when the tension has gotten too high during a discussion. It might include eating ice cream every night of the weekend!

How easy it is to forget the connection with your inner child.  So as a reminder, take time for yourself today to connect with your inner child, the innocent part of you, who is dying to go to Disney and sing all of the songs from their favorite movies.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

Dealing With Emotional Baggage

For anyone who has tried to start a relationship or is in one can attest that their emotional baggage has come up and impacted the beginning of a relationship. People attract their perfect match in terms of emotionally availability. For this reason, it is easy to blame the other person when things don’t work in a relationship. If you find that you are in a place where your emotional baggage or your partner’s emotional baggage is showing up, look no further because this recipe for success may work for you.

The first step is to take a hard long look at how you are showing up in your relationship because it might give you an idea of issues to look at in your life. Are you constantly worried about what your partner thinks about your appearance or is he critical about your looks? It might be time to see your view of your body and self-image and what messages you receive and tell yourself about your appearance. This might be an appropriate place for you to work on your femininity and what it means to be a woman.

The next step is to do something about your unhealthy thinking patterns. Explore your thinking in therapy, through the usage of a journal or with the help of friends and family. Look for themes in your thinking. If you are constantly worried about being left by your spouse or you see a pattern that you are giving more than the other person, it’s time to look into your abandonment issues.

Thirdly, once you find those core issues, it’s important to work through the pain and grief that comes along with facing the things that are the hardest to look into. If you have an abandonment issue, explore where that comes from. Look at your relationship with your parents. Many times core issues stem from childhood experiences. With the help of a skilled therapist, working through emotional issues from childhood is one of the best ways to form healthier attachments to spouses.

Finally, celebrate your successes. Look for a man that meets your new emotional needs. Once you let go of your emotional baggage, you will find a man who has let go of his stuff. That relationship has a greater potential to turn into something fulfilling because both of you will be on a healthier emotional plane.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.