How to start over in your relationship?

When something happens in a relationship I’ve heard people ask about starting over. And when you think about it, it seems like a hard proposition. How do you start something over that is almost to the end? If you look at it like having a plant, then you can learn how to revitalize your relationship.

1. Accept that your relationship is dying out and make a conscious decision to deal with the cause. Maybe you haven’t been nurturing your relationship. Maybe you’ve completely ignored your spouse. Maybe there was a third party that caused you pain. Maybe it was something that traumatized your relationship. Look at the root cause and don’t be afraid to admit what is really go on.

2. Make a commitment to do things differently. That means starting from square one. Go on dates and court each other. Do things you did in the beginning of your relationship, especially in terms of communication. You may find that you need to learn about your partner again. Reevaluate your wants and needs in the relationship and make it happen.

3. Stick to your principles. If you decide to take a step back, then do just that. This may be a period of time when you and your partner start over intimately as well. It depends on what you discover through your own exploration, as well as the communication with your spouse.

4. Watch your relationship grow and celebrate your successes. Take time to admire how your relationship has begun again. Express gratitude to your partner for going on this journey with you. And remember that your relationship will always need to be nourished in order for it to flourish.


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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at