When considering breaking it off with someone, here are four things to think about:

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Do you still get butterflies?
When you look at his picture or think back to a special date, do you get those familiar feelings in your body affectionately known as “butterflies”? When we still care deeply about someone, there is always that feeling, even if it was been turned off due to problems in the relationship. If you still blush when you think back to a stolen kiss or laugh at a recent inside joke, there is still some spark and it just might be the right amount needed to relight the fire.


Are the issues workable?

People are different and what they find to be acceptable in a relationship may vastly differ than another person. This would be a time to reflect on what you find acceptable in a relationship and if what’s happening is not acceptable, then it may be time to reevaluate your role in the relationship. If the issues are workable, then you might want to give it another try because in the end you may always wonder what would have happened if you had an extra talk or if you tried something outside of the box.

Are you willing to work them out?
Speaking of things outside of the box, are you willing to do that? Are you willing to put yourself outside of your comfort zone to improve your relationship? If you are willing, you may find that your significant other is willing to step outside of his norm and meet you halfway in dealing with your problems.

Do you love him?
Love is the reason we are in relationships. It’s the unexplainable thing that ties two people together when no other explanation makes sense. If you can honestly answer that you are still in love with him and you come from that place of love, it will always conquer all. Love is the foundation and if that isn’t broken then you can always repair the damages.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

Three years ago my life looked very different than it does today. I was working at a job that was fulfilling; however it was very stressful. I was working with mentally ill teenage girls. They were emotional, they were sick and they were demanding. Back then, I didn’t know how to set boundaries and I certainly wanted to “save” them all. It was during that time that I decided that this therapist needed a therapist. Luckily, I found a woman who has been a change catalyst in my life and I am grateful for the work she brought me through. She taught me that I needed to work on myself both in therapy and outside of therapy. She reminded me that without forgiveness of my parents, I would be unable to move forward in my life. She confronted me during the hard times and supported me in the good times. It’s been three years of seeing the same therapist that has helped me build a bridge to my most whole self. I am a better therapist because of my own therapy. I learned to connect with myself and in connecting with myself, I have been able to connect with others. I’ve received book recommendations that I now recommend to my own clients. I’ve completed worksheets that I now have my clients complete. And you know what I get to use every time? Empathy. I have been where my clients are sitting; on someone’s couching crying my eyes out, getting confronted for unhealthy behavior, doing homework assignments and getting support from someone who is willing to tell me like it is while always looking out for my greatest good.

In January of the following year, I came across a personal development workshop called “The Living Course”. I decided to take it as a student and it has helped me shift my life in ways I never knew was possible. During the initial course, I learned about my circle of belief, the feelings of sadness, anger, shame and fear and ways I was still looking for approval for others and not living my authentic life. What I didn’t know about the course was that I was able to go back and assist every six weeks and witness others go through the same journey. In the meantime, I was invited to be on the panel of therapists for the course and I’ve been coming back ever since. See my video testimonial here.

Within six months, I was ready to complete their advanced course. This was a series of three weekends over 80 days and a big focus was on teamwork. The first weekend, I learned to process my feelings of sadness about my childhood. I was able to see how that sadness kept me stuck and unable to move forward with my dreams and goals. During the second weekend, I completed a ropes course with the culmination of jumping off a 30 foot telephone pole while giving up my long ingrained pattern of perfectionism. The final weekend was a fire walk. This walk allowed me to see how powerful of a person I truly am. It has helped me see how to empower myself, my clients and everyone around me. The best part of the experience was a group project where we went to Joe DiMaggio’s Children Hospital and threw a Halloween party. We dressed up in costume, attempting to do the Thriller dance and helped make Halloween special for the children in the hospital.

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The final step in my journey was taking the Leadership Course through Personal Development Community Organization. It was five sessions over 10 months and it was intensive, to say the least. I decided to take the course because I knew there was something more out there for me in terms of personal satisfaction. I had a job that was meeting many of my needs but not all of them. I knew that I was set to do something bigger; however the picture was fuzzy at best. During my leadership course, I worked through ways I was still stuck in my life; valuing safety over spontaneity, control versus flow and resentment versus forgiveness. I had to finally forgive my parents for what they never meant to do. I had to learn to let abundance in my life flow in naturally. And I had to learn to let go, have fun, take care of myself and seize the day. During this 10 month period, I was able to get my private practice off the ground, become a more connected and empathetic therapist and say good-bye to a full-time job that was no longer serving me.

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Being a skilled therapist has been about harnessing the tools I already had inside of me and letting them come to light. Doing my work has allowed me to go deep with clients to places I never imagined before because I have gone to those places myself. I was recently listening to a webinar for private practice by Samara Stone and she mentioned that the secret weapon to building a private practice is taking care of yourself and I loved her message because it worked for me. I am grateful for every person who has helped me in my journey of self-discovery. Because of my work, I am now able to better serve my clients on their journey and there’s no place I would rather go with them than to their true, authentic selves.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

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Being your authentic self is about knowing your authentic self. Discovering who you are before you enter the relationship is one of the most important aspects of this journey. Once you have a solid idea of who you are, then you will automatically show up as real. And you will attract a mate that also shows up as their authentic self. Now, if you have discovered your authentic self, then you are already ahead of the game. Just be yourself and this will naturally occur.

If you are still discovering who you are, here are some guidelines to follow:

– Spend some time figuring out what you like and don’t like.

– Spend some time doing what you already know you enjoy.

– Seek out therapy.

– Join a new group on Meetup.

– Discover a passion and follow it.

There is not a linear path for every person. Find out what makes your heart sing and follow it.

Spend some time with friends and family and get feedback. Your friends and family know you most intimately. They can provide you with insight into your behavior or what they see in you. They can help by sharing what they love about you. Again, this exercise is meant to open your awareness to how you interact with other people.

Once you are ready to get into a relationship, always spend time taking care of yourself and connecting with who you really are. Revisit your path of self-discovery whenever needed or as a continual growth process.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

The Do’s

1. Do put your best foot forward

– This is your first impression with your potential new mate. Wear something nice. Think of it like an interview. Dress to impress without overdoing it

2. Do monitor your thinking

– If you catch yourself in your head, employ thought stopping techniques. Be in the moment during your date and enjoy your time together

3. Do go in with a positive outlook

– The point of dating is to find your other half. Let go of the worry that will come with a new date. Look forward to what this date could be, as opposed to worrying about every and anything

4. Do share about yourself

– Again, this is like a job interview. Open up to that person on things you feel comfortable sharing. Having open communication is one of the foundations of a relationship

5. Do order whatever food you would normally get

– I’ve heard time and time again that many women order salads on the first date. This sets up a false impression. Go into the date as yourself and let the person appreciate that you might love quesadillas, not just lettuce and tomatoes!

6. Do have a good time

– Dating can be a lot of fun. It’s like opening up presents; you never know what surprise you might receive

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The Dont’s

1. Don’t place a lot of expectations on the other person

– It’s the first date. Don’t start dreaming up the next ten years of your life. Live in the moment

2. Don’t mislead the person on what you are looking for

– If you are looking for marriage, be upfront about it to manage the other person’s expectations

3. Don’t overshare

– I know #4 under “Do’s” says share, but there are some things you shouldn’t share on a first date, like exes or family drama

4. Don’t discuss politics, religion or other sensitive topics

– This goes along with the above but it needs to be reiterated. Telling a person your religion is appropriate but going into detail or trying to convert someone is not the best approach

5. Don’t worry too much

– Just breathe and be! It’s a first date, not a marriage proposal. Just use positive thoughts and affirmations to stay in the moment

6. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to reach out after the date

– There are a ton of “rules” regarding communication. Throw them out and do what feels right. If you want to text them the next day, then do it. If you want to call and plan the next date, then do it. If you are worried about this, read #5 again

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

The way through resentment in a relationship is through forgiveness. I’m reminded of the serenity prayer when I think of past hurts in a relationship. “God granted me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”. Behaviors in the past cannot be changed. They can be processed and forgiven, but never changed. It’s a good place to adopt the serenity prayer and realize that accepting and forgiving are the way out of resentment.

How do you forgive someone?
Write it all down and get it off of your chest. If this is a resentment you’ve shared with your significant other and it hasn’t gotten any better and you still have it stored in you, then it needs to go down on paper. Write it all out and sit in those emotions. If sadness comes up, then go to sadness and let the tears flow. If anger comes up, find a release for your anger. Write it all out until you’ve exhausted every word, feeling and story related to the resentment.

Time to forgive.
You have to make a conscious decision to forgive and then live in that forgiveness every day. Let them know you are forgiving them. Sit your significant other down and tell them about your path of forgiveness and let them know what your commitment to forgiveness will look like in your relationship. An activity you can do is what’s called “70 times 7”. For seven days, write down 70 times that you forgive that person. It would look like this: “I, Suzy, forgive you Bob for not communicating your needs”. When you run out of things to write you simply write “I forgive you for everything”. This is a very therapeutic exercise that can bring closure to you in situations where you were previously unable to forgive.

Still having a difficult time forgiving? Schedule an appointment with a therapist to explore deeper wounds keeping you from living in forgiveness.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

The beginning of the school year is upon us and those in the sorority life circle know that means one thing: Recruitment. Recruitment is like Black Friday from the rest of the world. It’s the time when sororities go into “the black” and have met their numbers for the year. New members trample over each other to make it to their new home. And in the end, just like with the holidays, it is all worth it when you step back and look at the smiles on everyone’s faces on bid day.

So you’ve come across this blog. Are you a new student interested in joining a sorority? Are you already in a sorority and need a push to recommit at 100%? Are you an alumna of a sorority looking for confirmation that yes indeed being in a sorority and still committed even though you graduated is still a good idea? Are you a parent worried about your daughter starting college and possibly joining a sorority? Are you a curious bystander interested in learning more about greek life and/or mental health? Then this blog is for you!

Being in a sorority is good for a woman’s mental health and here are four ways that it helps improve emotional wellbeing.

Teaches you to take care of yourself
Most sororities have a set of values or pillars that they work off of. Delta Phi Epsilon has what they call the 5 S’s, as a part of their Personal Development Program. One of the S’s is self. Each year, women are encouraged to do things to nurture themselves. These things can include developing a workout plan, committing to going to therapy establishing long-term and short-term goal, running a marathon or any other activity geared at developing a deep sense of self and personal accomplishment.

What is does is teach women at a young age that they are important. That even though they need to get good grades, give back to the sorority, be a member of their family and probably have a boyfriend, they need to incorporate me time into their routine. Women can lose sight of their personhood, especially when more responsibilities are placed on them. A valuable skill being taught in sororities is how to make taking care of yourself a priority.

Need some ideas on how to take care of yourself: create vision boards for your life, join a gym or find a therapist to help you work on what’s holding you back from fully embracing and developing your sense of self.

Teaches you to give back
Each year, across college campuses, sororities and fraternities alike plan and execute philanthropy events to raise funds and awareness for a variety of issues. Zeta Tau Alpha raises money and holds events every October for breast cancer awareness month. On a local level, sorority women host flag football games, male beauty contests, soccer tournaments, fashion shows, benefit concerts and more to support their philanthropy. Women spend their time planning the events and securing funds to meet their goals. And what does this do for women? It teaches them to give back to their community. It teaches them to think about the needs of others who are less fortunate and how their contributions can impact them. It teaches them to become civically engaged and plugged into what is going on in the country and world, especially when it comes to disease, illness and special needs populations. Philanthropy events are fun and it helps women to be connected to an organization and be willing to give money and time and build relationships with people.

Teaches you to see the future
Sororities have a mantra: Not for four years, but a lifetime. When you join a sorority, it is not just about the here and now. It is about making a lifelong commitment to your sorority, to the university, to the philanthropy and to your sisters. It’s about knowing that there will be something out there for you when you graduate from college. It’s about being able to connect with other alumnae if you happen to move to another city. It’s about being a bridesmaid in your sister’s wedding or having them in yours. It teaches women to think about what they want their future to look like and what skills and tools does the sorority have to help them reach it.

Teaches you to see how we are all connected
Being in a sorority is about being connected to yourself, sorority sisters, Panhellenic sisters and the university. These connections often mirror what is like to be in the real world. There are meetings and events and responsibilities to manage in a sorority and in adult life. Women will learn how to see themselves as a part of a bigger force. Women will learn to see how people are connected in this world. There are many stories of people going in for a job interview and being interviewed by someone in their sorority. Just recently a group of DPhiE sisters were in Disney for their convention and they were taking a picture in their letters, a woman stopped them to share how she was a DPhiE at her school and explained how she was able to reconnect through facebook. It’s moments like that which solidifying being in a sorority is all about connections.

Being in a sorority is a personal decision people can take and it’s not for everyone. As a lifelong member of a sorority, I continue to find value in wearing my letters. As a therapist, I work with teenagers and help them to explore ways to develop who they are. For me, being in a sorority helped define who I became and for that I am forever grateful. Interested in finding out more about sororities, the National Panhellenic Conference has information for you to explore.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

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Anxiety can bring on the thought that nothing is going to get better. It can make it seem like the night will never end, especially when you can’t sleep. Or that nothing is going to change, especially if things haven’t been going your way. Anxiety can be an uneasy feeling in your chest or your stomach. It can be unhealthy thoughts in your mind. It can be tightness in your chest. Anxiety comes in many shapes and sizes, depending on the person. How does your anxiety manifest in you?

The real root of anxiety has to do with thinking patterns and belief systems. People go through life and have experiences and those experiences help shape thoughts and beliefs. If you grew up in a household where your parent’s belief system was that dangerous things happen to people, you probably took on the belief system that the world is dangerous, especially if something dangerous (or dangerous enough) happened to you when you were younger. It would look something like this: Your parents warned you how dangerous the monkey bars are. You decide to go on them anyways because you’re a kid and sometimes kids don’t do what their parents tell them to do. You slip on the monkey bars and bust your lip. You probably feel pretty scared about your lip and now you start to see the monkey bars as dangerous. And what also begins to happen is you start seeing many parts of the world as scary, not just the monkey bars. You continue to live your life through a lens that the world is a scary place.

When you live your life as though the world is scary, then everything tends to be scary. One of the ways to tell that you have a belief system that the world is something to be feared is the presence of catastrophizing in your life, assuming the worst in a situation or making something out to be worse than it really presents. Here’s an example of what catastrophizing looks like: Your alarm doesn’t go off in the morning and you are going to be late for work. You start to feel anxious in your stomach as your mind goes on to tell you that you are going to get fired for this. Your mind tells you this automatically, even though you are rarely late and you received a positive annual evaluation. It’s the thought that whatever is about to happen is going to be huge and it isn’t going to be good. Other examples of catastrophizing might include thinking you are going to be broke when you have to take money from savings, assuming your significant other is cheating on you if they don’t answer their phone or expecting to crash on a plane on the way to your vacation, even though statistically you are more likely to be hurt in the car on the way to the airport.

Another prevalent thinking pattern that can show up is black or white thinking. It’s where a person only sees things in terms of yes or no, black or white, on or off. This thinking does not allow for any gray area or the possibility that two things might both be correct. Sometimes things can be black and white. Imagine you are in a relationship and you get into a fight. A fight for someone who sees the world as dangerous will see a fight as something very bad or wrong. They will be worried about fighting and how it will affect the relationship. They might get really anxious thinking about having to talk to their significant other about their wants or needs because it may lead to a fight. So they go into all or nothing thinking. They assume that if they express their needs that the fight will lead to a negative outcome, instead of seeing a fight as a fight and something that can occur and can be resolved without any real danger. The danger that a fight might signal the end of a relationship is only a form of black and white thinking. What many people do then is nothing at all and they sit with the anxiety, because it feels better to deal with the anxiety then risk that something major and scary might come along. This is a prime example of why people don’t take control of their lives to make changes, doing just that is scary in and of itself.

So what do you do if you want to feel less anxious in your life? The answer is to change your thinking patterns and belief systems. Start to see situations as they really are. Begin to think in terms of gray. Challenge and change that belief system that is no longer working for you. It takes work to change unhealthy to healthy, but in the end you will feel a relief of anxiety.

We’ll pick back up on the belief system that the world is dangerous. That is the core belief system a person may have. In order to challenge and change it, you need to begin to look at the world with a different frame of reference. You need to look for ways in which the world is indeed safe. You will need to look for it high and low, and in every area of your life. Look for ways you are safe at home and at work. Ways you have been safe over the years, even in times of stress or danger. Look for ways your life can become safer. Become motivated to change any of the ways you can make their world a safer place to live in. For instance, if you feel unsafe at night because of the neighborhood you live in, consider moving to somewhere more safe. How have you been safe over the years? How can you become safer in your life today? How are you safe in your world? What are the signs you can see that the world is safe? How often do dangerous things happen to you? Do you have control over the dangerous things happening in your life?

Another surefire way to change belief systems and thinking patterns is through the usage of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is an evidenced based approach to treat anxiety and one of the major techniques taught to mental health counselors, social workers and psychologists, both in school and through workshops. The whole premise of CBT is to change your thoughts in order to change your behavior. It’s proven to work with anxiety and symptom relief can be accomplished through short-term therapy with a skilled clinician. When looking for a therapist, look for someone with a specialization in both anxiety and CBT. It should be clearly outlined on the website or marketing materials. Have you considered receiving therapy? Do you know where to find a good therapist at? Are you willing to receive CBT? What are the potential benefits to receiving therapy? Do you have any fears about going into counseling? What are you looking to get out of counseling?

Getting a self-help book can provide a supplement to therapy. One of my favorite books that I recommend is “The Feeling Good Handbook“by David Burns. There are specific chapters on anxiety and how to deal with it. There is a chapter on several types of thinking patterns, including the ones listed about. It gives you many strategies to challenge and change your thinking. It gives you information about medication, in case you are considering seeing a psychiatrist, alternative healer or going to a local vitamin shop to get natural anti-anxiety pills. This workbook is designed for you to follow it as it applies to you. It gives you activities to complete, as well as writing prompts for you to sort out how your anxiety works in your life and how the implementation of the techniques worked for you.

The good news is that anxiety is treatable. You can get symptom relief through many avenues. It’s about finding the one that works for you.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

1. Take what you learned

In every relationship, you learn something. It can be a hard lesson; it can be a valuable lesson. In the end, you would do best to look at what this relationship taught you. Each sacred encounter can provide you with an opportunity for growth and evaluation. The growth can come in the form of what to do and what not to do in future relationships. It might show you how to be more vulnerable and emotionally available. It might teach you to pick someone on the same emotional and spiritual plane as you are. Take time to journal or meditate on what you learned in the relationship and what you plan to do in the future.

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2. Celebrate

Celebrate your relationship. It was a sacred encounter, no matter how it ended. Look at all you gained from the relationship. Think about the good times. Look at an old picture and bring back the positive memories, while at the same time letting it go in celebration. The purpose of this exercise is not to reminisce about the past; it’s to look at it as a cause for celebration. You opened yourself up in a relationship and there were probably parts that were amazing. You can also celebrate yourself. Do something good for yourself that you have wanted to do for a while. Take time to nurture yourself. It’s cause for a celebration for what the relationship was to you, as well as a reward for how you showed up in the relationship. Break-ups are a hard thing to do through; why not make the best of it and pamper you? You’ll definitely feel better.

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3. Show gratitude

Gratitude is the way out of revenge, sadness and powerlessness from a past relationship. Gratitude is being thankful for what was and what is. Gratitude is about looking at the positive the relationship was and allowing yourself to be truly and deeply grateful for what the person meant to you. Say thank you every day until the pain is gone for that person. It can be about something specific they did or it can just be a general “thank you” for everything. Light a candle in gratitude. Make a list of things you are grateful today. The deeper the gratitude, the deeper the healing.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

Building a relationship or keeping one takes a balance of having a person maintain their identity and creating a life as a couple. It is easy to fall into a relationship and lose yourself in the moment. When you start to put 100% of your energy into your relationship, you risk the chance of losing your identity and independence in the process. Here are some tips for you to continue to do throughout your relationship as a way to maintain your “I”.

1. Keep your own hobbies

It’s always fun to date someone who has similar interests as you. This way on Saturday afternoon you can both go paddle boarding. But what about Sunday? Chances are he might be watching football. She might be reading the latest Chick Lit book. What are you going to do with your time? Find or maintain your own hobbies. Find a new local coffee shop, go to the gym or meet up with some friends at a 5k. Having your own hobbies is important for your sense of self and efficacy.

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2. Make time for family without your significant other

Again, this is an easy routine to fall into. Of course your significant other will be at every holiday and major event. However, sometimes it’s important to take time with your family, for you. There is a different level of comfort and openness between family members. Take the time to go to lunch with your sibling and share about your relationship, work or whatever else is on your mind.

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3. Enjoy time with your friends

When we get into relationships, it’s natural for your friendships to fall to the wayside. This is a normal process that happens; however it is also important to recognize that it is happening and recommit to incorporating a balance. Just like with your family, take the afternoon to go out with your best friends. The time you spend apart will make you appreciate your other person just a little bit more when you get home.

When you find yourself losing yourself in your relationship, just take a deep breath, recommit to your other relationships (including the one to yourself) and enjoy the time you spend both with and without your partner.

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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.

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Self-worth is strengthened by creating identity for yourself. As women, we sometimes fall trap into creating our identities outside of ourselves. Sometimes, we look for relationships, jobs, friends, family members and outside entities to tell us who we are, instead of looking inside.
Even if we look within ourselves to figure out who we are, we often name off our attributes, what we do for a living or descriptive things like our names, hair style or favorite color. It goes like this: “Hi, my name is Patricia and I am a teacher, who is sweet, loves the color green and recently got an ombre hair style”.? While that does describe “Patricia” it doesn’t get down to the essence of her womanhood.
It’s important for women to step into their power to discover who they are.

It takes time by asking the hard hitting questions
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– What makes me, me?
– What are my likes and dislikes?
– What do I want out of life?
– How do I express my feminity?
– What was I taught as a child about being a woman?
– What are my physical, emotional and spiritual wants?
– What can I do to take care of myself on a daily basis?

When we get to really know ourselves, we are able to come to value what is there. Once you have a good idea of YOU, then you can start working on the areas in your life where your self-worth is low. As you answer the questions above, if you are having a difficult time recognizing how to express your feminity, then you can come up with ways to do that. You can read a book about addressing womanhood, join a women’s group, do an overhaul of your make-up supplies, buy a few dresses, schedule manicures and pedicures for the next six months or find a therapist who specializes in women’s issues.
Having high self-worth is about knowing your true essence. It is about recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and capitalizing on them. It’s about knowing that you have an immense ability within you to stand in your power. Increasing your self-worth means taking a look in the mirror, looking deep into your eyes and finding your authentic self and letting it shine for the world to see.
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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.