Being your authentic self is about knowing your authentic self. Discovering who you are before you enter the relationship is one of the most important aspects of this journey. Once you have a solid idea of who you are, then you will automatically show up as real. And you will attract a mate that also shows up as their authentic self. Now, if you have discovered your authentic self, then you are already ahead of the game. Just be yourself and this will naturally occur.

If you are still discovering who you are, here are some guidelines to follow:

– Spend some time figuring out what you like and don’t like.

– Spend some time doing what you already know you enjoy.

– Seek out therapy.

– Join a new group on Meetup.

– Discover a passion and follow it.

There is not a linear path for every person. Find out what makes your heart sing and follow it.

Spend some time with friends and family and get feedback. Your friends and family know you most intimately. They can provide you with insight into your behavior or what they see in you. They can help by sharing what they love about you. Again, this exercise is meant to open your awareness to how you interact with other people.

Once you are ready to get into a relationship, always spend time taking care of yourself and connecting with who you really are. Revisit your path of self-discovery whenever needed or as a continual growth process.


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Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at