This weekend, I spent my time at a personal development course called “The Living Course“. It’s a 30 hour intense course where you look at how your childhood experiences shape your decisions.

One of the instructors discussed the concept of “Feeding the fish, not fishing”, when it comes to giving. Many times we do things that we think are without expectation but in the end we want something out of the exchange. Sometimes it’s as simple as a thank you or much more complex, like a reciprocal relationship with your spouse.

When we give a present for person’s birthday, we expect a present back. Even if we don’t expect one back for our birthday, we expect a thank you. Manners do come into play here and it’s understandable why we would want a thank you. But when we throw out little pieces of bread to the fish, do they say thank you? Do they throw us back cheeseburgers or veggie burgers?

One thing fish do is come back for more. They love what they are getting and they remember the spots food comes. And they keep coming back!

I invite you to look at life as feeding the fish. Give without expectation. Love limitlessly without the fear that the love might not come back to you. Go into relationships with open arms. And just like the fish, people will keep coming back coming back for more.


Photo credit: Pinterest

Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-258-8845 or email her at